Advent: Dec 14th

Yes i have skipped a few days, oops. But fuck all happened in those days. I worked, i slept, i pooped. Rinse and repeat. Nothing out of the ordinary so why feign interest?

Let me take you back to March when my friend Rohan informed me that Phillip Glass was performing Koyannisqatsi live at the Barbican. This is the only time he has ever performed this in the UK. Now i have talked about this film before under the post Life in Balance. Now taking you back i used to watch this film at my mates while pretty stoned and although you don't have to, it kind of helped get into the hypnotic score and visuals that happen on screen.
So this moment that we were embarking on was a full circle that spanned nearly 10 years. Even though i had the day off i still managed to fuck up my timings and ended up getting to London later than planned. I got to Amico Bell, a really good Italian restaurant, a bit too late but met Rohan, Nicola an Elise and was given a glass of wine.
They finished their food while i had another wine and we trotted off to the Barbican. Never been there before but it was a pretty damn nice place. Will have to go back. We got in and found our seats and we were two rows from the stage. Amazing seats and within 5 mins Philip Glass came on stage and the composer shortly after and the lights dimmed. They then proceeded to show the film on the screen behind and the orchestra played the entire score live. I had a smile on my face for at least 20 minutes of the film, which only lasts 85mins, and was one of the happiest moments of this year. It was stunning to see the film i have loved for such a long time with the score played right in front of me. I need to either see more composers or more live classical music because that was something special.
After the film finished there was a standing ovation for a good 15 minutes, quite rightly so. We picked the good day as on the 15th was just a retrospective of his life and works which did sound good but we got the best deal out of those two days.

With the clapping done we milled about for a bit. Elise went home and Rohan, Nicola and Rohans friend Mel, plus myself, walked about till we found a bar. We found a smallish one and had a few beers and chatted for a bit. We then left and went to the Jugged Hare just outside the Barbican as Nicola knew some people who were having a meal, unbeknownst to us they had only just ordered. So we kinda gatecrashed their meal. Which was alright i suppose as we were all chatty and not unwanted (possibly). They did seem quite, Londonish. I mean two of them i got on with and chatted to about a few things from Japanese Whiskey to what we all saw at the Barbican. The other two i probably wouldn't socialise with. They seemed nice but no.
After a drink there we moved on as the last tubes were soon. I said my goodbye and got the tube back to Paddington. Which is where the night got shitty. Friday night, 00:45 and the next train was 1:44am. I mean what the fuck. I know not many people would probably travel back from London to Reading at that time but there are a lot of stations on the way. So 1:44am rolls around and theres tons of people waiting for a train that has 4 carriages and stops at lots of stops. When First Great Western start supplying a service that deserves my money then i will stop jumping train fairs, sitting in First Class when i don't have a ticket and generally hating the entire network.
Got home about 3am, sober and with a headache. But not even that could put a damper on the night. Phillip Glass i salute you.

Advent: Dec 24th

So here it is, the Eve of Christmas. I didn't have work today so decided to get some last minute shopping done, which i did. Thankfully as I do hate shopping at Christmas. All done and dusted I went home to wrap them all.
We have this kind of tradition with my friends, every year now for quite a few we have met down the local village pub to catch up or just see each other as we don't all get to see each other in the test for various reasons. I got dressed up, grabbed a walking beer and started walking, got halfway and my friend was waiting for me in a car park, which was wierd but nice because she gave me s lift, very nice indeed. It was quite nice at the pub though some of the people that usually come decided not to this year. We just sat around outside and chatted, got drunk and had a merry old time

Another Christmas even drunk though thankfully not enough to have a hangover.

Advent: Dec 12th

Today was spent just like any other day off, waking up at about 11am, staying in bed till 1pm. Getting up to feed the cats and peruse the Internet, answer emails, reply to twitter and Facebook and see whats going on in the world. Watched a film called Drive, not to be confused with Drive Angry with Nicholas Cage. Now poor old Nic Cage seems to have a hit and miss career, one film is great, one is shit. Rinse and Repeat. Drive Angry was one of those "it's so bad its good" films, which i enjoyed. Drive however was a film i had wanted to see since the trailer. And at last i did. Easily one of my 'Top 5 Films of 2011' (Expect a post later this month). The style reminded me of GTA:Vice City on the PS2, well maybe it was just the pink lettering of the cast/directors etc but the 80's Electro music helped too. Damn i really liked that game. I really liked it and glad the music from the trailer was in the film too, in an equally poignant moment too. As i said, one of the Top 5 of the year.

Apart from watching Drive i just played Call of Duty on line with a few of my friends, now not boasting but we kicked arse but forgot to take names, oh well.

The night was ended with late night Skype and drinking with my friend, watching crap movies and part writing Dec 10th Advent Blog.

Cereal Killer

One thing growing up I enjoyed. Breakfast. Whether you ate it with your family talking about the days activities or you're sat discussing the news or like me you sat watching cartoons, it is usually a staple diet for most children and adults. It starts the day. Be it toast, porridge, cereal, coffee, tea, fruit, yogurt.

As your tastes change from being told what to eat and what you want to eat in the morning (Cold pizza is damn good in the morning) you forget the little things that set you up for the day. That cartoon, that comic or that toy. Wait, what? Toy? At breakfast? Are you overdosing on vitamin C, you don't have toys at breakfast, your not in hospital. But wait, that happened when I was a child. Was it a dream?

NO.
No it was not.

The time was when you raced to open a new box of cereal, either to cherry pick the toy or just for that chance. The older you got you realised that you could just reach in and grab the toy. Yes toy, I keep saying this word, but what do i mean toy?

Well back before retarded children started to put anything and everything into their mouths you were able to find toys in packs of cereal. Admittedly not as cool as American kids toys like decoder rings but still pretty awesome. The picture at the top is something most children in the UK must have seen/had as a kid. I have some toys in the loft I have seen recently and some were water squirters from The Mask and some Simpsons ones too. You got figures, reflectors, stickers, tazos. Lots of things were on offer to the breakfast children. But alas not anymore. The best you get are offers that give you money off other things.
I remember once there were three toys connected, the cutter obviously malfunctioned, it was Christmas, Easter and my Birthday all rolled in one. Three toys in one! AMAZING.

Fuck, I opened a bank account when I was 10 with Barclays, this offer was with Shreddies... You opened an account with something like 75p and Barclays added 25p to make a solid £1 and there you had it, one shiny new bank account. I still have this bank account, albeit it rather overdrawn, but this is the power of cereal. 16 years later I have this bank account, this was offered to me by a cereal company....

What has gone wrong, why do we not have toys. Surely parents should say "No Timmy don't put that replica of Nelsons column in your mouth, its not edible"

Kellogs, I implore you. Add toys back to your boxes of cereal. It will be the best thing you can do.

April 2012: The End of the World or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Loved My Robot Overlords

Don't be fooled by the robotic puppy dog eyes of Wall-E, he means to kill you. Or conveniently dispose of your rubbish in a silent manner. Or kill you. Or make a castle out of blocks of rubbish much like Minecraft. Or kill you.

The whole hubbub surrounding the April 2012 'We are all going to die' scenario is the Mayan calender pretty much predicted most things that happened in an interstellar manner. Up until 2012. Which most people took a sign of "Well they saw everything till then and nothing more, therefore we will die". But much like the Y2K virus which "Would set off all the nukes, therefore we die" it won't. Or will it?

Some troubling news has befallen me, and anyone else with an Internet connection. They are becoming self aware. Recently a Robot named Watson competed on Jeopardy and tied with one of the human competitors who was a reigning champion. Watson learned from his answers and for the most part got them right. When wordplay came into it he got confused and answered incorrectly. Now this learning robot also reminds me of a TED talk about a robot comedian. What was special with the comedian robot was it gauged the audiences response from both applause, laughter and silence and catered its comedy routine based on that. Another learning robot.

Coupled with Big Dog, The Xos Exoskeleton, Self Assembling Furniture, This Lifelike Robot mimicking facial expressions and Realistic Animatronic Eyeball, we are getting a hell of a lot closer with Self Aware Artificial Intelligence. Well its pretty much there really. There is something called a Singularity which is defined as:

A predicted future event in human history caused by the ever-increasing ability of new technology to speed up the rate at which new technology is developed

 This can be described by Amplified Intelligence, modifying the brain with implants, sort of the same way that bloke shoved a camera in his head. Though it was not meant to be as his body rejected it. So kinda pointless.

It can also be described by Artificial Intelligence too. By that we mean computers that can think for themselves and either update themselves to be smarter than us and itself or create machine to work for it. Which would be a scary day.

So it falls back to the 2012 scenario and i put this to you. At some point in our future this 'Singularity' WILL happen and when it does, if it is to lead towards Artificial Intelligence, then some point after the Self Aware computer will start creating other computers and machines. And so on and so forth, may be years or decades but it will happen. Now some point after that people will become frightened of this technology and will either revolt or regress. Yes it plays out like a science fiction film, but that is only because within science fiction lays science fact.

So going through the decades, maybe even centuries something will happen where traveling at the speed of light will happen. And with that is the possibility of time travel.
Now if you were this advanced computer and you knew humanity would revolt and pose a threat you would try and stop this. And the only people that foresaw this happening where an advanced civilization known as the Mayans. So you go back and kill them all. Thus stopping them from communicating what will inevitably happen in the future.

Yeah i know sound far fetched and preposterous. Fun to think about though eh?

Either way this singularity will occur. It will lead to revolutionary discoveries in medicine, science and human understanding. It will lead to a serene time within all. We will be able to feed the hungry, cure the sick and stop wars.
It could also bring about a time of never ending war. More powerful machines and weapons. Nanotechnology could be used in weapons where they are dropped on cities and people/buildings are devoured from within.

I hope to be alive when this happens. It will be amazing, and to be fair the past 25 years i have been alive have shown just how fast technology can progress. Computers have gone from being the size of rooms to the size of a credit card. Phones now have the capabilities of computers.

Hell the Internet. I am lucky to appreciate all of this around me as i have seen it grown. Kids now have all of this technology from the get go. But they abuse it. They are not learning and progressing. There is a 'Tech-Stalemate' We are not progressing as fast as the past few decades, that too will herald the singularity.

Twelve Days of Christmas: The True Cost

I've decided to revise my 12 Days of Christmas blog post from 3 years ago. Due to the fact we have been through a recession and, well, its 3 years old. As Bob Dylan sang

These Times, they are a changing

I'm going to keep the same formula but like with the Advent Posts i shall just google the 'thing' and choose from one on the first page, mainly since a lot of the old pages no longer exist.

So onwards with The 12 Days of Christmas, the true cost

So here is what i found and the cost of each item:

Partridge - £3.99
Pear Tree - £17.45
Turtle Dove - £7.45
Hen - £12.50
Calling Birds - 99p (Yes i know its The Beatles, but a Calling Bird is a Blackbird....)
Gold Ring - £99
Goose - £45 based on a Goose for 4 people
Swan - £99 Based on one nights stay on my birthday
Milk Maid - £100 NSFW link as its a Ceramic Dildo but has a picture of a Milkmaid.
Dancing ladies - £50 Wedding Disco
Lords a Leaping - £28.95
Pipers Piping - £71
Drummer - £60 a day drum hire

So that's the cost of each individual item, now to put them into the rhyme.

1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me: A partridge in a pear tree = £21.44

2nd day is 2 Turtle Doves (£14.90) and a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£21) = £35.90, add that to Day One = £56.90

3rd day is 3 French Hens (£37.50), 2 Turtle Doves (£14.90) and a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£21) = £73.40, added to Day Two = £130.30

4th day is 4 Calling birds (£3.96), 3 Hens (£37.50), 2 Turtle Doves (£14.90) and a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£21) = £77.36, added to Day Three = £207.66

5th day is 5 Gold Rings (£495), 4 Calling Birds (£3.96), 3 Hens (£37.50), 2 Turtle Doves (£14.90) and a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£21) = £572.36, added to the current total is £780.02

On the 6th day are 6 Geese a Laying (£270), 5 Gold Rings (£495), 4 Calling Birds (£3.96), 3 Hens (£37.50), 2 Turtle Doves (£14.90) and a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£21) = £842.36, added to the total is £1622.38

So halfway through the Twelve Days of Christmas the total is £1622.38. Which is about £400 cheaper than 2007. Admittedly the items are different.

7th Day is 7 Swans a Swimming (£693), 6 Geese (£270), 5 Gold Rings (£495), 4 Calling Birds (£3.96), 3 Hens (£37.50), 2 Turtle Doves (£14.90) and a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£21) = £1535.36, added to the total = £3157.74

8th Day is 8 Maids a Milking (£800),7 Swans a Swimming (£693), 6 Geese (£270), 5 Gold Rings (£495), 4 Calling Birds (£3.96), 3 Hens (£37.50), 2 Turtle Doves (£14.90) and a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£21) = £2335.36, added to total is £5493.10

9th Day are 9 Ladies Dancing (£450), 8 Maids a Milking (£800),7 Swans a Swimming (£693), 6 Geese (£270), 5 Gold Rings (£495), 4 Calling Birds (£3.96), 3 Hens (£37.50), 2 Turtle Doves (£14.90) and a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£21) = £2785.36, added to the total is £8278.46

10th Dare are 10 Lords a Leaping (£289.50), 9 Ladies Dancing (£450), 8 Maids a Milking (£800),7 Swans a Swimming (£693), 6 Geese (£270), 5 Gold Rings (£495), 4 Calling Birds (£3.96), 3 Hens (£37.50), 2 Turtle Doves (£14.90) and a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£21) = £3074.86, added to total is £11,353.32

11th Day are 11 Pipers Piping (£781), 10 Lords a Leaping (£289.50), 9 Ladies Dancing (£450), 8 Maids a Milking (£800),7 Swans a Swimming (£693), 6 Geese (£270), 5 Gold Rings (£495), 4 Calling Birds (£3.96), 3 Hens (£37.50), 2 Turtle Doves (£14.90) and a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£21) = £3855.86, added to the current total is £15,209.18

The Twelfth and final day are 12 Drummers Drumming (£720), 11 Pipers Piping (£781), 10 Lords a Leaping (£289.50), 9 Ladies Dancing (£450), 8 Maids a Milking (£800),7 Swans a Swimming (£693), 6 Geese (£270), 5 Gold Rings (£495), 4 Calling Birds (£3.96), 3 Hens (£37.50), 2 Turtle Doves (£14.90) and a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£21) = £4575.86, added to the current total is £19,785.04.

So there we have it, the final and total cost of the 12 Days of Christmas is a little under £20,000

So when you want to surprise your other half with something festive, just buy a Gingerbread house.

Advent: Dec 19th

I didn't move from my bed till 4pm. That was how bad the hangover was. Not sure why i continued to drink so late, and still drink snakebite. I love it but get THE worst hangovers from it.
Today was the day of our Christmas meal. And by ours i mean my friends. We all get together and have a nice little meal. Last year i couldn't go due to finishing work late, as it was a Saturday, and by the time i would have gotten there it would be too late.
I walked to my friends, again its good he lives close, and we walked into town. On the way this American sounding girl asked us for directions and i told her to get any one of the buses that would come past as that would take her to the station. However if i wasn't in a hungover state i would have suggested she walked with us considering we were walking pretty much there.

TGI's did a good Christmas meal deal thing. £20 for 3 courses, not too bad at all. Had Sesame chicken strips with a Jack Daniels glaze for starters, King Prawns with Jack Daniels glaze for main and some chocolate desert that knocked off a year of my life with each bite.

With the meal done and a good chat had by all we all went home, i went back to my friends and finished watching a Top 100 Toys of all time show that was on before we all went out, which was good and Lego won. Which is kinda right really considering i don't know anyone that didn't have Lego, play with Lego or try to take over the world with Lego.

It got to about 1am so i decided to leave and walked home. It was freezing on the way home, it turns out it was -11 degrees on my walk home. Ouch i know, lucky i had that scarf.

White Dog Poo

I'm a child of the 80s, albeit the latter part. I was born in 1985. And here's a new nostalgia feature.

Theres certain things about being born in the 80s that is a testament to the world at large, and even in your own little world. The Cold War ended, the Challenger exploded, Live Aid happened and the Berlin Wall fell to name a few.


But what i remember from the 80s is white dog poo. Might have been because i had a dog too but it was everywhere. Some small dose of smelly nostalgia i know, but still it defines growing up, for me anyway, as a child of the 80s.

Now there is a real reason why the dog poo turned white, and why you no longer see it. Both are rubbish and you can find out for yourself. All i know is that white dog poo is synonymous with growing up. To avoiding it when walking and to watching normal dog poo change colour over the course of a few days in the height of summer. Memories of my dog Meg come to mind, good Lil thing she was, and various excursions to the river as a child.

It's a shame that the only things children of the 90s/00s will have to look back on is Teletubbies and Dick & Dom....

What I'm

What I'm Listening To:

Gorillaz - Plastic Beach
White Stripes - White Blood Cells
The XX - The XX

What I'm Reading:

Marvel Secret Invasion
Dark Reign

What I'm Watching:

Kill Bill Vol 1
A League of Their Own ( The James Corden game show, not the baseball movie with Gena Davies and Tom Hanks, though it is a good film)

Twenty Ten

We've had a tumultous year in 2009. The entire world has been effected by the economic downturn and a great flu pandemic.
We've seen amazing strides in acceptance in the political world from the United States but unfortunatly we have all suffered
great losses in the ongoing conflict in Afghanistan.

As we enter 2010, one cannot but wonder if this is the world that the invisionaries of the past imagined. There are no robot
servants, no flying cars and no monoliths. We enter a new age, a new decade in fact, still reeling from our past decisions.
We remember what has been done in the past and yet we seem doomed to repeat those actions. We look in the face of terror and
say no more. Yet we look in the face of global warming and shrug our shoulders. We should hold both manufactured and biological
terrorism in the same vein. Why should the immediate danger overshadow the forthcoming danger? Maybe it wont effect ourselves
but in the long run its our children and childrens children that will face the brunt of the impeding disaster. We embrace technology
as our saviour, yet it will most probably be our downfall in the years to come. We must rely on each other more so than the circutboards
made by technicians and scientists.

Take back our lives. 2010 is the year of self worth.

The World Shall Be Mine

Havent really been doing much over the past few weeks. Well i have, i've just not written about it. Bad me.

One thing that we have been partaking in recently has been an enjoyable game of Risk every now and again, mainly Thursdays. Quite nice really sitting in a pub playing a board game.

A bit of simulated violence goes along way!

Buzz Aldrin, what a guy.

Now wether you believe that the moon landings were faked, or what not, is neither here nor there. But theres something immensley pleasing watching Buzz Aldrin punch a guy who claims the moon landings were fake, has released two movies contradicting the accomplishments that Buzz and the other astronauts have achieved, and ultimatley wasted the time of Buzz Aldrin by pretending to be a Japanese interviewer.

Chris if you haven't watched it yet, i know you'll love it.

Lego Donkey Kong

Yes I know, enough of the Lego, but it's Lego. So no.

Lego Ads

Yes, I like Lego. More than that, I love peoples use's for Lego, other than building robots etc.

Lego Robot + Space = Awesome

Students, professors and hobby folk launched the H.A.L.E (High Altitude Lego Extravaganza), 7 Lego:Mindstorms robots designed for different experiments attached to a weather balloon, exploded at 30km above the Earths surface.

Now I like lego, still have some probably, but sending a Lego Robot, hopefully with a little Lego astronaut inside, possibly with some Lego Astronaut ice cream too, is a genius idea. Not so much for scientific merit but just the idea. And the surprisingly cool pictures sent back too ( a SLR camera was attached, taking pictures at intervals)

See more pictures Here and see more info Here

Music Time

Firstly we have Comptine d’un autre été: l’après-midi, from the film Amélie played on the Iphone touch.




Which reminded me of Bach's Air being played on Stylophones.

And two more for good measure.


Zelda being played on the Stylophone.

And a 3.5" floppy drive programmed to play the Imperial March from Star Wars.

Historic Events in Lego

We all love Lego, even if we don't play with it still. So heres a nice album of historic pictures recreated using lego, very time consuming but turned out brilliant.

Click the pic for the link

Suffering Succotash!

The ACME catalog lists an extensive A-Z of ACME related products. Showing a screen cap and related info on where it was seen, when and a nice little tag for each product, the above being:

ACME Earthquake Pills are guaranteed to create huge tremors anywhere,(except when used on road runners)

Great fun and suprisingly informative.

Click the pic for the link

Fingerboards

Need i say more?

Pogman

I fucking loved Pogs. I really did. I mean ok they're just small circular pieces of cardboard, with pretty patterns and colours (occasionally something shiny is printed on it) but there is something about the damn things.

I remember the first few series were of Pogman and his adventures or something. But with most collectable items from the 90s, there were knock offs and spin offs.



From what i remember (from what i have in front of me) there were Batman/Power Rangers/Sonic/Premier League and the normal Chinese knockoffs.


From the normal Pogs, and their parental Kinis (used to slam down on the stack), there was also Tazos, the stackable yet connectable little game. I remember the Looney Tunes ones mainly. These were slightly better than Pogs, because no one knew of the Pogman and his crazy antics, whereas we all know and love Bugs, Daffy et al.

I also had a milkcap maker, with which i made Pogs out of Beano comics or playing cards or anything i could, it was a neat idea but came too late into Pogmania.

Check Milkcapmania for a rather extensive list of Pogs and i think Tazos too.

I'm off for a game, anyone want to play for keeps?