Tales of a Drunkard: Year in review

Well considering i have only written one thing this year (Not counting the current Advent series) i thought a year in review would be good. Both for anyone reading and wondering what i have been up to (No one) and myself to just recap.

So in January i became the manager of the Go Kart track i worked at, spent alot of time at Sahara drinking and house parties. February was the month of snow, shit loads of it. February also bought weird dreams, lots of drinking and discovering Mixcloud.
March was a Skyrim month, which i should start playing again, that's all March had for me other than drinking at Sahara, learning about El Dorado rum and hiring staff from nights out drinking.
April, Spring. Such a time for things to come. Also fuck you April. The beginning was good, i saw my first Wall of Death at a Steam Fair and then my faithful Mongoose Crossway bike broke, broker harder than a broke broker. So i bought myself a fancy new Fixed gear bike, a Mongoose Maurice. Nice black and orange thing going on. It was also a night out with some friends for some cocktails and general drinking. All was going swimmingly. I went and got the bike on the train, came back and was a bit wobbly with a fixed gear as i had never ridden one before, managed home and back into town.

Then we started drinking. Which is where the fun began i suppose. We left and i walked my friend home then i made a stupid mistake of getting on my bike and cycling off rather than not. Worst decision i have ever made as i got about 1/4 of the way home and came off my bike. Blacked out when i hit the road and a passer by picked me up and helped me to the side. Nothing really hurt but i was bleeding from my head and cut my jeans and fucked my leg up. Oh and part of my shoulder was sticking out. Went to hospital and had a month off work, well about 6 weeks really. Couldn't walk that well for a few weeks.
My shoulder is still fucked, I'm pretty sure i tore the Coracoclavicular ligament. I might be wrong but it is that one. Common with rugby injuries and Freddie Flintoff had the same ligament damage i had, probably through drinking too!

So that was my April, it was spent on the sofa, watching TV, my laptop broke and i got shit all money from work. My bike was fucked but that was easily repaired. I was in that range where i didn't need surgery if it wasn't totally necessary. I spent most of April just hanging out and drinking, as walking into town wasn't too bad in a sling.

May brought 2ManyDjs, Real Ale festival and Simon Amstell. All in all was a good month of nights out. And that was May done really all while having lots of painkillers and a sling.
June was my birthday. Not the whole month, I'm not greedy like the queen having multiple birthdays, just the beginning of June. The 6th for future reference. I got some handlebars and a brake lever from a mate which is good as i fucked mine up when i fell off. Saw Promethues, not all that, realised that letting friends ride your bikes will end up with broken bikes (Thanks Lee and Ed).

Then that's it really. The rest of the year has been so-so. I got a cool Icarus tattoo on my left arm, half a sleeve, and got a Zombie hand holding a NES controller on my right bicep. I have been out drinking alot, i went to Bruges and met some cool people. Met up with some of them in London and spent a day and night having fun. I went to the Paralympics and spent some time in Hyde Park watching the Olympics on the big screens.
I went to Rumfest for the first time and was amazed by so many Rums, i was the best man to my friends wedding which was a very good day and night and honoured to be part of their day. Although i didn't get to go to any festivals this year i did get to go see Ugly Duckling, Frank Turner and coming up this Friday is Phillip Glass which i'm looking so forward to.

That's about it for the year, fun, exciting, sad, expensive, broken and regretful. 

There is only less than a month left, but not sure where it will go. Christmas is looming and New Years soon, hoping both will be great.
Hmm i didn't really do much this year.

Cereal Killer

One thing growing up I enjoyed. Breakfast. Whether you ate it with your family talking about the days activities or you're sat discussing the news or like me you sat watching cartoons, it is usually a staple diet for most children and adults. It starts the day. Be it toast, porridge, cereal, coffee, tea, fruit, yogurt.

As your tastes change from being told what to eat and what you want to eat in the morning (Cold pizza is damn good in the morning) you forget the little things that set you up for the day. That cartoon, that comic or that toy. Wait, what? Toy? At breakfast? Are you overdosing on vitamin C, you don't have toys at breakfast, your not in hospital. But wait, that happened when I was a child. Was it a dream?

NO.
No it was not.

The time was when you raced to open a new box of cereal, either to cherry pick the toy or just for that chance. The older you got you realised that you could just reach in and grab the toy. Yes toy, I keep saying this word, but what do i mean toy?

Well back before retarded children started to put anything and everything into their mouths you were able to find toys in packs of cereal. Admittedly not as cool as American kids toys like decoder rings but still pretty awesome. The picture at the top is something most children in the UK must have seen/had as a kid. I have some toys in the loft I have seen recently and some were water squirters from The Mask and some Simpsons ones too. You got figures, reflectors, stickers, tazos. Lots of things were on offer to the breakfast children. But alas not anymore. The best you get are offers that give you money off other things.
I remember once there were three toys connected, the cutter obviously malfunctioned, it was Christmas, Easter and my Birthday all rolled in one. Three toys in one! AMAZING.

Fuck, I opened a bank account when I was 10 with Barclays, this offer was with Shreddies... You opened an account with something like 75p and Barclays added 25p to make a solid £1 and there you had it, one shiny new bank account. I still have this bank account, albeit it rather overdrawn, but this is the power of cereal. 16 years later I have this bank account, this was offered to me by a cereal company....

What has gone wrong, why do we not have toys. Surely parents should say "No Timmy don't put that replica of Nelsons column in your mouth, its not edible"

Kellogs, I implore you. Add toys back to your boxes of cereal. It will be the best thing you can do.

Advent: Dec 14th

After much thought, over the past two days, i decided to stop screwing around with any ideology of me fighting my company over what would inevitably be me getting fired and just quit.
So i woke up, showered and googled 'resignation letters'. I've never had to write one before. I looked at Nixons resignation from The White House after Watergate, so i dubbed my current situation Picturegate, given the context of my disciplinary etc i thought it quite apt.
The other reason for me to go into town was because i got a phone call telling me my lovely new phone is back as it was broken and got replaced.

So packed my rucksack with various boxes from the phone shop and carried a Spyder Pro back to work for a colleague. First port of call was work where i picked up my shoes, i couldn't be bothered to get my desk fan i bought about 3 years ago, they also owe me £15 i think as i paid part of the deposit for the Christmas meal. Hmm i should try and get that back, will come in handy.

On the way out i chatted to my manager and just said there was a letter in the office which was my resignation effective immediately. Usually the notice period would be applied and i would work a months notice, especially given its Christmas period and the shop gets really busy, but they decided to start this at this particular time, so i finished it. Yes it looks bad leaving at such a peak period but my hand was forced. I feel sorry for the shop floor staff that now have to work extra hard.
Funnily enough not one person out of the management looked me in the eye as i walked in, or bothered to talk to me. Other staff members did, which is why i still talk to them, and will do.

Tis a little bit sad as 4 out of my 8 years of working was at this place and to leave on such terms is evident at how much the place has changed since i started, atmosphere; morale and general work ethic has changed completely in about 18 months. But "Times, they are a changing" people have come and gone from that place, and the majority have kept in contact, so thats something.

Anyway with that ticked off my list i ventured to the o2 shop to pick up my newly replaced Dell Streak and headed to the sandwich shop next to work to have a tea and tinker with my phone. Had a chat with the staff etc which will be another sad note as i used to go in every day now it will be every now and again. Shame, really nice people in there.
Got my phone sorted and came home. Deciding what to do with my phone in terms of settings etc, had some dinner and watched Waynes World. Watched a few other films here and there and generally pottered about the house. Tried to play some Xbox but couldn't get into any game so just watched more films, browsed the Internet for books and Christmas presents and generally wasting the day away.

I did have a brief flutter and looked for jobs on Gumtree and Grapevinejobs but nothing there for me, or nothing i saw that popped out at me.
With me now being unemployed it gives me a renewed invigor to grab a job that i will love to do, be it customer facing, office or something else. We'll see but it needs to be soon. Bonus on not having a job in retail.... i get Christmas and New Years off hands down now :D I know, not working isn't ideal but i haven't had time off like this in along time. Better do something with it then.

The last few hours of the night were spent talking about tattoos, making me want to get one now, and talking about relationships and love and all that rubbish. Drudging up old feelings about people generally isn't an ideal way to start the going to sleep process, but i helped someone out so who cares about me eh?

Time to finish writing that book, trying to organise a 'event' for next year and generally live.

Almost forgot, my phone doesn't charge. Yeah great isn't it. Wont charge from USB or mains charger, how great is that? Guess 'im going back to the o2 shop tomorrow... I'm not having a lot of luck with items of luxury, what with my bike problems and various problems with my phone.

Ah well, heres to Wednesday. Middle of the week, not too stressful and lunch to be had, and possible Christmas shopping of some kind.

I shall end this night listening to Debussy - Clair de Lune.

Till the morrow

Advent: Dec 11th

Woke up a little late today, still managed to get to work for 8:50. Enough time to get changed, get a tea and get the machines up and running. The day went like most Saturdays during peak period, roller coaster start. First theres a few people, then the shop is packed then theres a few people. Rinse and repeat for the whole day.
Didn't sell much, a few things here and there, a couple of big sales with all the trimmings. It was mainly talking to customers about presents or new cameras for themselves. Everyone left happy.
About midday the manager asks me to go speak to the Regional Manager who was upstairs, and after a chat about being late again (I had a disciplinary about being 5-10mins late for work) i was also questioned about things i have posted on here/facebook and twitter regarding work and any issues i have regarding it.
Thing is apart from this blog, where no mention to what company i work for, the rest of the social media sites are set to private. So the only people that can see it are people i work with, friends and family. The general public cannot see any remarks i make. So I'm not saying anything, but 2 + 2 =....

Nevertheless we had a brief respite where i could just wander around pondering such things before going back in. The regional manager came to such conclusions that they were suspending me from work until further notice and that i was not to talk to any employee of work and not visit any branch.

Silver lining being that i have time to shop for presents and I'll probably be able to have some sort of Christmas this year.
Bad part being I'll probably go back for a disciplinary and lose my job.

Certain members of work have been blocked from Twitter and taken off facebook so my musings can't offend them anymore, ah well only work colleagues.

So i was escorted off the premises, not like with my hands behind my back but in case i kicked off or something stupid. And with that i went to lock my bike up.
As i was doing so my mates came round the corner and i told them what happened. We walked around a bit and discussed what lead to my suspension and what would happen next. They had the 'we told you so' look and also said i should have got a new job ages ago anyway. Which is true.

We walked around for a bit and talked, then we bumped into our other friend who's flat warming it was. So we broke off, they went to get lunch and we did too. We talked about the flat warming and again about my suspension.
I got my bike and he went to pick up some other friends, i cycled to the Oakford and handed in the camera i found on Thursday.
I then cycled home and emailed a friend what happened at work and if i can appeal against the decision etc while it was fresh in my mind.

My friend came to pick me up and we went to Asda to get supplies for the nights activities. Lots of alcohol and some food from Iceland. Back to his flat where the girls proceeded to put the tree up, decorate it etc while we sat back and had a beer or two.
With the tree looking pretty damn impressive we connected it up so it would stay up and not fall over. We cracked open a few more beers and sat around listening to music and playing a ping pong game on the xbox. The girls then cooked some Rocky Road, which was amazing, and we put some food in the oven.
Finished playing ping pong when everyone came in and we watched Elf. A pretty festive film if i may say so and Zooey Deschanel is gorgeous as ever. We played a DVD interactive game of Family Fortunes, was fun but we didn't really play it properly.
We couldn't decide whether to watch Inception or something light hearted, so we watched Team America: World Police. I hadn't seen this film in ages so was just as funny, half the people left during the film and only a couple of us were left. We finished drinking and watching the film and then i got a lift home.

Got home quite early considering it was a party, though i was pretty tired after the days goings on.

So i probably shouldn't have talked about what was going on at work, but there is an element of freedom of speech i like to have. And again nothing mentioned on where i work.

I now have to wait for my disciplinary hearing and the outcome of that. Though i can see where it is heading.

Advent: Dec 7th

December Seventh started out like normal, walk to work was quite nice. I like walks but they take too long. Work wasn't too bad, moderate amount of customers, had some fun. That was pretty much it for work, talking and selling cameras. Doesn't really get much more exciting than that really.

I managed to get my bike fixed with minimal aggression. They put the pedal back on and i managed to ride home without complications. I then went to my friends for dinner and giggled like a schoolgirl at Family Guy, 30 Rock, Better off Ted then half of The Other Guys. I then left as it was getting quite late and continued to watch the Other Guys while drinking some Sailor Jerry. A nice simple end to a nice simple day. Not much of a post really but Tuesday nothing much happened.

It doesn't get much better than a non complicated day. Hell complicated days come round way too often.

Advent: Dec 6th

This picture pretty much sums my mood up, not explosive but dry and irritable.
The day started out pretty good. A lay in which was lovely and an egg sandwich made for me when i got up. A nice walk to work with some equally nice music, some new bands suggested by a friend on Twitter and some classical music i downloaded.
Got to work and had a cuppa tea. Immediately it was apparent this day was going to take some bull horning, which is probably the wrong phrase to use if it is even a phrase. Basically i had to take charge of the day. Which didn't happen, much. Everyone was stressy at work, i mean it was a working day so why wouldn't they be.
For the most part the working day was good. Talked to lots of customers about cameras, pictures, gifts and gadgets. No arsey customers which is always a bonus. I was just counting down the hours till i could go pick my bike up from my mates flat. If you recall i had some issues with my bike on Saturday (See Advent:Dec 4Th) and i really don't like walking that much, not when i can cycle.

I'm pleased to report that the doors stay closed for the most part, as soon as its about 18 degrees the doors are open till it gets below 16 then the doors shut. Its a compromise i suppose, one i really cant be bothered to argue, also the placement of the thermometer is also a bit stupid but loop holes are there to be made and used.

So the day goes past without any complications and i trotted off to pick my bike up from my friends, stop off at Primark to get some trousers (too small) and i forgot to get some Icing Sugar so my friend gave me hers. Stayed for about 30Min's and chatted then left. I get my bike get on it and start pedalling, as soon as my left foot puts any weight onto the pedal it only goes and fucking comes flying off sending me down onto the frame of the bike and scratching my thigh all against it.

Cue a 5 minutes of me trying to work out how it screws on, neither normal 'lefty loosey, righty tighty' or the opposite work, so I'm guessing its something less trivial than that. So I'm pretty pissed off with that, not only the bike but the bike shop ACTION BIKES IN READING. The first issue was the pedal wasn't screwed in properly and about 2 weeks after buying the bike i took it back and had to get the entire crank replace, which on Saturday completely fell off. Now the pedal fell off after i had to pay and get a new one attached.

So 5 weeks of owning a bike and i have been back three times. The chap who did the road safety inspection on my bike, who also changed the crank the first time after the person who did the road check did the pedal wrong (himself). Funnily enough i learnt on Saturday that he no longer works there.... Hmm wonder if it has anything to do with failure to fucking sort out a bike?

I'm not unreasonable am i? My old mountain bike lasted two years. After i purchased it i forgot to get the 6 week check sorted and had no problems. About a year later i go to Action Bikes and get a service where they find my brake pads need replacing. Which was fine but then i had to pay for each pad to be fitted, on top of the service and purchase of brake pads. Then about a week after i get the service my back tire feels really dodgy when riding. So i take it back and low and behold i suddenly need a new tire fitted as the axle was broken. Something i would have thought they would have spotted during the service? So then i had to pay for that to be fitted and a whole new tire.

As strange as that was i had no complaints because it had lasted a fair long time without ANY problems. Then it got nicked.

So tomorrow i am going to have to go to this bike shop and get arsey. I hate arsey customers because they get nothing accomplished but when i went in Saturday and i was being nice i was basically told that the reason the crank came off was my fault. Now i don't get that. Again i don't want to go back to a bike shop unless i need a new tire, or handlebars or brakes... Not because of what seems to be failure to put a bike together...

No doubt Advent:Dec 7Th will have either a happy ending or an enraged rant/open letter to the people of reading regarding bikes.

Time to swot up on the Sales of Goods Act 1979.

Advent: Dec 4th

December Fourth started out pretty shit. Well it was a day off so a nice lay in was had. I cycled into town to source out a new coat for the nights outing but on my way my pedal came off. As in the entire crank arm fell off. I had only just left the house. So i had to walk into town pushing my bike, defeats the object of having a bike. On my way i stopped off to buy something from a guy down an alley, but realised i had lost the £20 from my back pocket. He looked at me weird and i left. So far I'm 2 for 2 on bad happenings.
Got to town and took my bike to Action Bikes to get them to put the crank arm back on, the week before i had trouble with my pedal (it hadn't been put on right by the guy) the person i spoke to, Rich, constantly told me it was my fault, i should check my bike routinely. Now I'm in the persuasion that if i spend £300 on a bike i expect it to work at least until the 6 week free checkup, not fall to pieces. The person that did the road check on my bike no longer works there, so when i asked "was it due to failure to sort bikes out" the guy just shrugged off that comment. So for all i know my bike wasn't put together properly the first time, and all these happenings are due to his failings.
Nevertheless i was charged £13 for the bike part and again was spoken to like i am a bike geek and i should 'bed in the crank with a tool like this"..... I ride a bike because its quicker than walking, no Lance Armstrong am i.

So now I'm 3 for 3. I put my bike in my friends bike shed at his flat and went about shopping for a coat. Christmas shopping is why I'm pretty harsh towards Christmas. Its filled with people walking around blindly shouting "I MUST BUY EVERYTHING EVER AND WRAP IT IN SPARKLY PAPER IN ORDER TO SHOW MY FAMILY I STILL LOVE THEM" Whatever happened to the notion of a zombie magician being born and doing good deeds like the guy from Kung Fu, who failed to resurrect might i add. Though before that asphyxiwank in the cupboard David Carradine could indeed have been compared to Jesus, well the Kung Fu Carradine not Kill Bill. He was a dick.
Anyway i digress.
Walking around just grates me. Especially when people in front of you just stop. Look at their shopping list, then move on. Do people not have a regard for others? How bout taking the Christmas blinkers off for a second?
Shopped round and the cheapest i could find a nice coat was £35 from Primark, everywhere else was like £76+ even TK Maxx.... I know.
Coat bought i then paid £45 for a pair of Jeans. This is why i don't shop. I could have easily got a nice pair like like £20.
Munched on a Egg baguette while sorting out the nights plans. Hopped home to get changed and prettify myself and headed to my friends flat for a pre drink drink.

I have to say i was looking quite good, though i made a risky attempt at styling my hair and gave myself a side parting. Yes i looked like a handsome version of Hitler, or a man sporting a comb over but i liked it for the beginning.
My friend had a mug with his face on printed at my shop for his tea habits at work but it smashed the other day. Luckily due to an error at the printers a duplicate was made so i wrapped it and gave it to him. It was like Christmas or something.
We had a few tins of Strongbow and chatted in depth about our enterprises that we are trying to make happen, interesting stuff from both of us.
We popped along to Pentahotel for a few drinks while we waited for the birthday girl. And may i say Pentahotel is a really nice place. Drinks are normal price for town but its very elegant inside, pool table, wii and really nice bar staff to boot so i thoroughly recommend going there as i hope ill be there soon again.
We had a table booked downstairs in Sahara so we started the cocktails quite early, bout 8pm and £8 cocktails may sound expensive, but they are lovely; full of alcohol and got me rather drunk rather quickly. It was like New Years all over again as i was pretty gone by half 9.
Lots of drinks and laughs were had and after alot of cocktails we trotted along to Sakura and danced it up. I don't think i brought a drink at all in there and we stayed for about 2 hours at least, if not longer. I just sipped other peoples drinks and just kept my alcohol levels topped.
I still don't like Sakura for a night out. Dogma is a good place, good music but its always full of kids and the dance floor bounces. It may be because i really cant dance, or that the place is shit, probably a factor of both.
A couple of friends came in to say hello, one sporting a very nice 60s style bob and leather jacket but didn't stay long. Saw a girl who works next door who after i said hello kind of ran away, left me feeling a little perplexed and worried I'd done something.

After Sakura we tried to go to Purple but the queue was massive so we had a Subway and decided what to do. Most went home so i went back to my friends new flat which was near my house anyway. Had a beer and chatted, had a look round and helped decide where to put things etc then i left about 3am and walked home. My new coat paid dividends as it was really warm and the hood comes all the way down.
Walked in, climbed into bed, turned on the radio and drifted off. I seeked a good night out and that was what i got.

I love my friends, very rarely do we not have fun in each others company.

Advent: Dec 3rd

Well where do i begin? Today has been an awesome day for food and victory. Spose I'll start at the beginning.

Again waking late was really nice, i do like starting late, i however hate finishing late. So once again it was freezing on the cycle to work. I have a routine at the moment of slamming the back break to get my brain used to the back wheel fishtailing so when i eventually do hit ice i know how to correct myself without falling over. So far so good. The Kennet was once again frozen for about 50yards. Its getting to be a good base on seeing how cold it is.

At work there has been an ongoing battle at work in regards to having the front door open/closed. Management want it open pretty much all the time, which in most scenarios is a good thing (Open door is more inviting to the customer) but when its 0 degrees outside or snowing or freezing fog, then having the door open is stupid. We have a small electric heater and a semi functional air con unit, which when the door isn't open heats the shop up to a moderate temperature.
So it being so cold you can see your breath should ring alarm bells in the common sense receptor that most people have. Dogs and cats can work out how to open doors, I'm pretty sure the public can too.
So everytime i close the door, a supervisor closes it pretty much as soon as I've closed it. Cue a Tom and Jerry moment where we are both back and forth opening/closing. Finally i had enough after about 3 weeks of "Neil just put on the fleece we have provided" "Neil you don't know what your talking about when you say we are in breach of Health And Safety" "Stop complaining" so i contacted Reading Borough Councils Health & Safety Dept and they got back to me about 2 hours later. Spoke to a very nice guy about what is and isn't acceptable and turns out i was right all along, the store was in breach of Health And Safety guidelines about working temperature and for anyone working in retail it is:

The store temperature should not fall below 16 degrees

As stated by The Law so at least if you want to complain you have a leg to stand on. I used this card only as a last resort and it worked ok :)

So with that done one of the supervisors left with a face like thunder and promptly returned with a Thermometer (Something which you should have on the shop floor anyway) and the doors remained shut for the rest of the day. I chalk that up to not only a personal victory but also one for common sense.
We shall see if it stays that way. If not then they are breaking the law, officially ha ha

So with that i had a smile a mile wide inside. After work i had a quick dash to get home and changed and back to Reading for my friends birthday. We went for an all you can eat at Thai9. Recommend as it was gorgeous food, was really busy so we were in the karaoke room (no karioke) so had the place to ourselves. Lots of food was consumed and was back home about 11pm which wasn't too bad as it was freezing outside and we were tired after eating :)

So i cam home, decided to watch Walking Dead and have been sitting drinking Sailor Jerrys (half a bottle so far) listening to copious amounts of classical music. Its amazing how much of this i remember from childhood, either walking into assembly in primary school or just from films/TV shows or just naturally listening to Cd's/Records/Radio and having it rooted in my memory. Its something that people forget. Listening to that #1 pop track is fine but its probably just some lyricist and a drum machine. Listening to a symphony play one mans vision is mind blowing. Its not just a guitar and a drum its a whole goddamn orchestra. That to me is the epitome of genius. Well musically anyway.

I will sit here for a while longer, listening and pondering my own thoughts. Dangerous i know but its soothing.
Till December 4Th, a night on the tiles and a most regrettable a hangover that will be seldom wanted.

Advent: Dec 1st

I'm going to try something, i might not fulfill it everyday but I'll try. Like many others i too have an Advent calender. Its a Dr Who one. I opened today and had a car.... Of which i though there was no correlation to Dr Who, according to my Dad Jon Pertwee had a Model T Ford in the TV Show.

Anyway i digress, the chocolates bad and has no meaning to Christmas.

For the next 31 days i am going to try my own advent thing. Every day i shall post what ever i have done, will do etc. Sort of opening a window into my life. No chocolates or crappy pictures. Just crappy insights and grammar. For this i shall google 'December First/Second/Third' with that exact wording and choose a picture from the first page. At the top is today's.

OK so there might be crappy pictures.

Today was a pretty ordinary day. Again i awoke to no snow and bitter coldness awaiting me. What made it worse is the shower is fucked. It doesn't have much pressure and it goes from hot, to boiling hot then freezing cold. Have to turn it off and on about 4 times this morning.
Cycle to work was so bloody cold. No frost but bloody cold. The past few days cycling i have noticed part of the Kennet has been frozen over. Quite funny seeing skid marks where ducks have landed on the ice. Nice way to start the day.

What else, er we had two new starters today. One is the fiance of one of the Team Leaders, nice girl but i am against any kind of family persons working together. Be it mum/dad/sister/wife etc. Its hard enough to leave your life problems at home when you go to work and vice versa. I've worked with my mum years ago and my brother too. Both pleasant but the whole work thing changes when its not just work colleagues/friends but family members. The other girl has worked for magazine publications, taking photos of bands etc and seems to know her stuff. I'm sure the harsh reality of working in retail will soon become aware, as it does to all of us.

There is an ongoing issue at work with the apparent 'open door policy'. I know the psychology behind it (A closed door isn't as inviting as an open door to customers) but when its December, Winter, and freezing outside or sometimes snowing then there is no reason whatsoever to keep a door open. Especially when the heaters rarely work and customers in the shop also complain. Its not the best environment to try and find a camera for someone when they are wearing gloves.

I think I'm winning the battle since the past few days the door has been open a short period. Small periods throughout the day, yes. Not all the time.
I have an idea to put some outdoor L.E.Ds on my bike, attach with cable ties. Should be a laugh, or i might look a prick. Either way ill be happy.

That's about it i suppose for my Advent: Day One.

I managed to get my brothers phone working, my Dell Streak phone is with o2 getting fixed i hope. It's weird, i haven't had a phone for two days and i have been edgy. I needed to converse, to text or twitter or email, and not being able to was really annoying, especially as it wasn't by choice.

Looking forward to this weekend. Friday is my friend Kat's birthday. So lots of happenings. Drinks at the weekend which will be messy, and i have really been looking forward to this. I need a good night out. Sunday is Christmas meal at Las Iguanas.

Now i know some people don't get Christmas parties at work, or at least the work do not pay for them. But ours does, which is the nice point i suppose. Every year we have been given on average £20 per head. Which is adequate for a nice meal. The first year i started work i had a Christmas hamper, it was amazing and i had only just joined. Then we got a 'Staff discount booklet', then every year since is special staff deals on cameras etc.
Anyway we booked Las Iguanas due to it being nearly £20 but now we are only getting £15 per head. The kicker? We have to pay for it ourselves, then send in an expense claim form (individually) then they give it back to us in our wages, probably in February.

Right well Home Alone is on TV now. Its on Sky Xmas.... a channel which shows Christmas movies i guess, then why the fuck is Starship Troopers on later..... Get it right at least.

Hope you enjoyed the first day of advent.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

The year has come again where the massive droves of teens with their parents cash descend onto Reading, for Reading Festival has announced its lineup. At the moment the phones are clogged, the Internet is clogged and at this precise moment in time, the entrance to HMV in the Oracle is clogged.


Now if you've seen my Festival reviews and what not you will know that I'm a fan of the festival. I love the atmosphere, the music, the people and the five stages of Tring.

All in all, the picture at the top (of my friend Ed) encapsulates all that Reading Festival is. Notice he has a bottle opener on a necklace. He is covered in mud. Its late. But look at that face. He is having the best time in the world. THAT is Reading Festival. Queueing up for 24hrs outside a music shop isn't. Queueing on the phone/Internet for 4hrs is not. And paying extortionate amounts on websites like Viagogo or eBay is not.

Word of warning kids. The cost should be around £180 give or take service fee. If your paying £200+ you need your head sorted. Reading Festival is not the best in the world. It used to be. But look at European festivals for a change. If your parents are willing to send you to Reading Festival, I'm pretty sure they'd send you to Germany, Spain, Italy, Holland, or any other festival in England...

I've seen a lot of shit happening at Reading. Stupid drug,drink and boredom fuelled shit. And I've never been to a festival that's so irresponsibly run. The stewards are nice and friendly, the Security are heavy handed. They turn the music off around 12pm due to the noise, and the tents that stay open 'later' have the music on low. The only entertainment for you after midnight is taking 2 hours to walk to your tent, drinking lots and going walkabout to see what is happening in the festival camp grounds. More often than not its people burning everything/anything in sight and general violence.

The violence isn't aimed at anyone, its just boredom. Because there is a silent disco or a pikey fun fair to amuse 70,000 people.

Its stupid.

Still one of the best festivals i have been to. That's largely made up from the people I'm with. One of which is covered in, hopefully, mud in the aforementioned picture.

If you get tickets, enjoy and be safe, the lineups not too bad. If not, then don't pay too much!

Not sure what my ramblings are about. Confusion. Irritation. The longing for a ticket?

March off the plank

Well three months is good, right? RIGHT? My endeavour to go without drinking alcohol for 6 months came to a brief stutter this past week. Firstly i went to a funeral and at the wake i had a few drinks in memoriam. 3 Guinness and one double jamesons and coke. Which oddly went down a little too easy for 3 months no alcohol. That would have been a one off just for the wake but then i agreed to go into Reading on Saturday for a friends birthday.

Now usually I'm fine with others drinking but the way it worked out we had two tables of friends and i made the mistake of sitting slap bam in the middle of the two. Which ordinarily wouldn't be too bad but i was sat staring at Gordon Brown in the middle east and the story on James Bulgers killers. So all in all enough to make anyone drink.
I decided to bail out early and on the way home stop into another bar and see a friend. While waiting with her to buy a drink it popped into my head.... Why the fuck would i not drink?

The main reasons were to lose weight and to gain money, and who wouldn't want those two things? Though at what cost? I love going out and having random encounters with people, sometimes continuing to know them for awhile, sometimes they are just a figment of a night out on the tiles.

This is why i had a few ciders, and a snakebite, tequila and a double Johnny Walkers and coke. And surprisingly i had an amazing time, met some girls, chatted and got a phone number from one of them as she was really fun to talk to. Married/engaged though but people are people, doesn't matter if they are married or whatever, as long as you get on with other people.

So yeah, I'm not officially back on the alcohol but I'm also not being sober. I think I'll drink in moderation till June, when it suits me. And then come June I'll be more inclined to drink.

Till then drink lots, meet lots of people and above all. Have fun.

Loud Noises!

So back to moaning about commuting, but this can be stretched across the board. Generally having a tape player means you can listen to what you want when you want, and other people don't need to know that you listen to Hillary Duff. And i accept that, i too listen to some god awful stuff, mainly the radio, but i tend not to let other people know that.

Now i don't think many volume dials go to 11 but it seems so. Case in point. I'm sitting at the front of a bus, which generally has about oh I'd say 15 rows of seats? And someone is sitting towards the back. Now how high must their volume be to reach a good 18ft? And more so, what the fuck is it doing to their hearing? I don't think people realise how much it can fuck up your hearing.

I have managed to fuck my ears up to the point that while writing this my ears are ringing. Think coming out of a club in the middle of the night, you know when your ears are ringing from Bryan Adams being played loud?? That's what its like all the time. And that's from festivals, headphones, cramming crayons into my ears..

So i don't get it. Why would you want to play your shitty music to the point that the driver can listen to it? I doubt that all of those people have shitty headphones that don't retain any of the noise.

I'm thinking its a subconcious statement. Like when your 5 and you like a certain someone. You walk up to them, stomach in flutters, blushing, and you kick them in the shins and laugh as they start to cry. But in this instance its more "Look at me, sitting here, listening to some German pop about a crocodile called 'Snappy'. Oh how i hope someone will sit next to me and start a conversation about my musical tastes"

Sit down and talk about musical tastes, laugh and mutter under our breath at how much of a twat you are. You say tomato, i say tomato.

Don't get me started on the 'yoofs' who decide playing their crappy bedroom made hip-hop on their phone is cool. Its not. The musics shit. Your shit. The phones shit and hopefully you step in shit.

Commuters

This is probably going to be something i mention a lot, in fact i know it is.

Now I'm not sure how many people out there partake in a daily commute to work/school but i for one have the pleasure of a total of 4hrs commuting each day into and out of London.
I know, i know. Many things spring to mind like "Why do you bother working that far away" "Surely commuting isn't too bad" "Why haven't you got any trousers on".

Whether you commute for 30Min's, or 3hrs, its all the same. You stand there waiting for the train to come, most people have their spots so the doors come to where they are standing. You get on the train and one of two things happen:

You get on the train, look for a seat and if not then you stand.
Your an upper class twat that has a 1st class seat all reserved, the peasant that they have warming their seat runs off to the back of the carriage and they sit down, not before wiping the seat.

So after your settled and your face is in the armpit of some tight arsed man in a pin stripe suit, the train starts to move.
Now the Reading - Paddington train takes on average 25Min's. Not too much, the length of your favourite Simpson's show, or a very relaxing shit. So within those 25 minutes, on a hot stuffy train, face in the armpit of pin stripe swept back hair man, you expect to be able to just relax and get to London.

Yet, and I'm pointing the finger at the business man (for reasons ill explain in a minute), someone decides to fart. And its not a noisy 'everybody chuckle' fart, or a quiet mouse squeak of released gasses, no. It's a silent leak of noxious gasses that come from the bowels of perdition, that creep up to your nostrils and and play the harp on your nose hairs.

Now why cant they go to toilet before they leave the house, like we were trained as kids to do, or hold it in until they get to London or the office? I mean its not that hard, try going to a festival and having to hold it in for a few days!

My theory, yes. The business man and his loose bowels. Right. So here goes:

Being a loose bowled, but tight arsed, businessman means that your high wired, you get no sleep so need lots of energy, so you drink coffee. But drinking coffee makes your breath smell and stains your teeth, so you chew chewing gum.

So you have coffee, which speeds up metabolism (makes the stomach work) and you have chewing gum, which contains Xylitol (at high doses has a laxative effect).
All of this combined equals the need to shit, or at least fart. And there we have it. That nostril ripping fart you smell on the train/tube in the mornings is indeed from the bowels of a pin striped businessman.

But he doesn't care does he? No for hes on the upper echelons of society, he can shit where ever he wants.