Twelve Days of Christmas

Probably should have updated this every year but its still interesting. Twelve Days of Christmas

Nintendo Pictochat - Stoke Redux

This has to be one of the best travel tools you could ever have in your pocket. Within the small confines of the sweet innocent Nintendo DS lives the heart of a dirty perverted beast just waiting to rub up to you while stood in the line for the checkout at the supermarket.


Pictochat amused myself and my friends while on the journey up to Stoke last weekend. Either for chats that were pointless, endless drawings of dicks or the chance to write in big letters 'C*NT' while the ticket inspector was getting lees ticket.

Which reminds me of something i forgot to mention. During Geordies banishing of old women from the comfort of a seat with a table, lee decided to just sit comfortably on his own table with two girls, one of which who was quite pretty. This is also how the joy of Pictochat amused us, as like small children, we could speak to each other, about people in our surroundings, and have them not be any wiser.

So to you pretty pink loving girl on the way to stoke, you were pretty. And to the ticker inspector, you weren't a 'C*NT' or Bald.

Pictochat. Better than the DS.

Tales of a Drunkard Pt.9: Stoke and Stafford

This outing is sponsored by The Hangover Cure. More about that later.


So for this last outing we trekked to Stoke. Yeah i know people say "Why would you go to Stoke" and i say "for a friends birthday".

So supplies packed we met at the train station and board the train to Stoke. That was the first mistake. We had pre-booked our tickets so we could have a table seat to ourselves to drink and play cards and what not. Unfortunately there were 3 old ladies sat all comfortable in our place. Now unsure what to do i stood there with mark behind me looking at each other, trying not to laugh and also embarrassed that our northern friend Chris decided to turf them out with no remorse, i think i also saw him tapping his watch as these frail women eased themselves out of the chairs. Not only was there lots of embarrassment going around there was also a queue forming behind us. I quickly shuffled into my seat and sat looking out the window as to not make eye contact.

Shortly after we set off the cans were cracked open, by myself, and the Cards/Nintendo DS's and Laptops were broken out. Train was fine, though got really busy towards Birmingham.


Got the bus to Stoke city centre and went to my friends sisters club that's being done up. Looks amazing and cant wait till it's finally finished as it will be a great venue, especially when the other elements are completed.


So we went back to their house, got showered and changed, had a drink and whatnot and got a taxi to Stafford. The taxi ride was one of the funniest i have ever had, i was crying with laughter on numerous occasions. It doesn't help when sisters laugh the same and at the end let out a sigh which then starts the laughter again.... OK maybe you had to be there.

Started the night with a nice Subway to settle the stomach and went to Chicago Rock Cafe (Which isn't a real Rock bar Geordie) and had quite a few 2-4-1 Cocktails, though the barmaid was slow and just didn't give a fuck about serving people. So we moved onto the second venue. Second venue was pretty good, had a few drinks of various nature including two bottles of champagne, sambuca, beer and vodka. Only problem is the bar proved a bit too pretentious, bringing out the champagne in a bucket with a fucking firework flare attached as if to scream "Hey EVERYONE, look at these guys buying champagne, aren't they complete dicks". Anyway drinks drunk and laughs had we moved onto a new club that had opened and thanks to Chris, who knows everyone there is ever to know, we got in for free and scouted out the new club which had something like £1mil budget.

Now this club was amazing, but you'd expect that from £mil. Though it was abit too big, i got lost a few times not knowing if i was upstairs, downstairs or where. The pluses being that they had Guitar Hero, Rambo and Pod Racing machines in a side room, LED dance floor, a giant Disco Ball (At least 9 feet high and as much wide and about 3 other dance floors. The uniforms for men where red waistcoats and for women were red corsets. More drinks where had, mainly beer, though strangely no dancing was had, well the odd Geordie scuffle dance though Chris and Sol (my friends sister and her husband) had a Dance Off. In true movie style too. There wasn't anyone on the LED dance floor and a song came on, so Sol went on and danced as Chris watched from the sideline, then went and did his dance. This went on for a good 5 minutes with the crowd watching and cheering too. So bizarre but excellent to watch!

Our Taxi was booked for 3.30am so we made our way to get something to eat, Chips and Gravy, and jumped into the taxi back, again an enjoyable taxi ride was had. Got back to the house and me, mark and Geordie took sofas to sleep on. Though my bed was a wavy chair, like a psychiatrists. Brilliant to sit on but a nightmare to sleep on.

Now before i went to bed i had one of Drink THC's Hangover Cure. Pint of water and one of these before bed will apparently cure a hangover. Now I've always had the notion that drinking a pint of water before bed will help prevent a hangover because of the dehydration that occurs when you drink alcohol. But DrinkTHC has vitamins and electrolytes and other things that mean something to some science guy. All in all it is meant to replenish all the vitamins that are lost due to alcohol consumptions (Like Vitamin B12 to name but one). Anyway drank it and in the morning i felt fine, i mean i hadn't drank tons but i did mix a lot of drinks as that always gives me a stinking hangover. I had a dull headache, though mostly from lack of comfortable sleep, but looking at the other guys pale faces i think i came out better. Only problem with a hangover cure is it takes away the "OMG what a night that was, i cant remember much and my head hurts" which i kind of like. Its like a badge of honour. Plus i wouldn't remember to take one of these each night i had been drinking as all i want to do is stumble in and up the stairs and fall into bed.


All in all, if you can remember to take one of these mixtures before bed, you won't regret it as you'll feel fine in the morning.

We went for a massive breakfast in Stoke and a walk round some shops before getting the train back to Reading. Again people were sitting in our seats so me and Mark just decided to sit away from the guys and play on our DS's and beat Geordie at Mario Kart, over and over and over again.

Got back to Reading about 5.30pm and went home to veg out. Brilliant time had in stoke and amazing time in Stafford.

Here's hoping we go back when the club is finished, possibly for New Years as that will be my last time drinking this year as I'll be giving up alcohol again for my new years resolution, till at least April, maybe June for my Tales of a Drunkard Special Feature......