Twelve Days of Christmas, The True Cost of Christmas

You know the one; maids a-milking, lords a-leaping. But how much would it cost to actually have your twelve days of christmas??
Lets have a look.

Below are the costs I have found for each item:

Partridge - £46
Pear Tree - £16
Turtle Dove - £8 each
Hen (Nationalitiy Unknown) - £20 each
Bird Call CD (You try catching a blackbird!) £8.44 each
Gold Ring - £99 each
Goose - £50 ish each
Swans - £19.95 each Well it couldn't be a real swan now could it...
Milk Maid - According to Here, it would imply that you need to seek out a 'Lady of the Night'. Going rate of about 35 Euros in Amsterdam (roughly £25).
Dancing Ladies - £20 a lapdance
Lords a Leaping -£195 each
Pipers Piping - £71 each
Drummer - £50 per track

So theres the costs for the Twelve Days, lets put them together and see what Twelve days will cost. If you just want to see the end figure then scroll to the bottom.

The first day is a Partridge in a Pear Tree = £62

The 2nd day is a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£62) and 2 Turtle Doves (£16)= £88, add that onto day one = £150

The 3rd day is a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£62), 2 Turtle Doves (£16) and 3 French Hens (£60) = £148. Added to day two = £298

The 4th day is a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£62), 2 Turtle Doves (£16), 3 French Hens (£60) and 4 Calling Birds [or CDs](£33.76) = £181.76. Added to day three = £479.76

The 5th day is a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£62), 2 Turtle Doves (£16), 3 French Hens (£60), 4 Calling Birds [or CDs](£33.76) and 5 Gold Rings (£495) = £676.76, added to day 4 = £1156.52.

The 6th day is a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£62), 2 Turtle Doves (£16), 3 french hens (£60), 4 Calling Birds [or CDs](£33.76), 5 Gold Rings (£495) and 6 Geese a-laying (£300) = £976.76, added to day 5 is £2133.28.

So we are 6 days into our 'Twelve Nights of Christmas' and already the cost is just over £2k.
Onwards we go.

The 7th day is is a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£62), 2 Turtle Doves (£16), 3 french hens (£60), 4 Calling Birds [or CDs](£33.76), 5 Gold Rings (£495), 6 Geese a-laying (£300) and 7 Swans A-Swimming (£139.65) = £1116.41, added to day 6 = £3249.69

The 8th day is is a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£62), 2 Turtle Doves (£16), 3 french hens (£60), 4 Calling Birds [or CDs](£33.76), 5 Gold Rings (£495), 6 Geese a-laying (£300), 7 Swans A-Swimming (£139.65) and 8 Maids A-Milking (£200) = £1316.41, added to day 7 = £3449.69

The 9th day is is a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£62), 2 Turtle Doves (£16), 3 french hens (£60), 4 Calling Birds [or CDs](£33.76), 5 Gold Rings (£495), 6 Geese a-laying (£300), 7 Swans A-Swimming (£139.65), 8 Maids A-Milking (£200) and 9 Ladies Dancing (£180) = £1496.41, added to day 8 = £4946.10

The 10th day is is a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£62), 2 Turtle Doves (£16), 3 french hens (£60), 4 Calling Birds [or CDs](£33.76), 5 Gold Rings (£495), 6 Geese a-laying (£300), 7 Swans A-Swimming (£139.65), 8 Maids A-Milking (£200), 9 Ladies Dancing (£180) and 10 Lords A-Leaping (£1950) = £3446.41, added to day 9 = £8392.51

The 11th day is is a Partridge in a Pear Tree (£62), 2 Turtle Doves (£16), 3 french hens (£60), 4 Calling Birds [or CDs](£33.76), 5 Gold Rings (£495), 6 Geese a-laying (£300), 7 Swans A-Swimming (£139.65), 8 Maids A-Milking (£200), 9 Ladies Dancing (£180), 10 Lords A-Leaping (£1950) and 11 Pipers Piping (£781) = £4227.41, added to day 10 = £12619.92

The 12th and final day is Partridge in a Pear Tree (£62), 2 Turtle Doves (£16), 3 french hens (£60), 4 Calling Birds [or CDs](£33.76), 5 Gold Rings (£495), 6 Geese a-laying (£300), 7 Swans A-Swimming (£139.65), 8 Maids A-Milking (£200), 9 Ladies Dancing (£180), 10 Lords A-Leaping (£1950), 11 Pipers Piping (£781) and 12 Drummers Drumming (£600) = £4827.41, added to day 11 = £13219.92


So there we have it. The true cost of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' £13219.92

Loud Noises!

So back to moaning about commuting, but this can be stretched across the board. Generally having a tape player means you can listen to what you want when you want, and other people don't need to know that you listen to Hillary Duff. And i accept that, i too listen to some god awful stuff, mainly the radio, but i tend not to let other people know that.

Now i don't think many volume dials go to 11 but it seems so. Case in point. I'm sitting at the front of a bus, which generally has about oh I'd say 15 rows of seats? And someone is sitting towards the back. Now how high must their volume be to reach a good 18ft? And more so, what the fuck is it doing to their hearing? I don't think people realise how much it can fuck up your hearing.

I have managed to fuck my ears up to the point that while writing this my ears are ringing. Think coming out of a club in the middle of the night, you know when your ears are ringing from Bryan Adams being played loud?? That's what its like all the time. And that's from festivals, headphones, cramming crayons into my ears..

So i don't get it. Why would you want to play your shitty music to the point that the driver can listen to it? I doubt that all of those people have shitty headphones that don't retain any of the noise.

I'm thinking its a subconcious statement. Like when your 5 and you like a certain someone. You walk up to them, stomach in flutters, blushing, and you kick them in the shins and laugh as they start to cry. But in this instance its more "Look at me, sitting here, listening to some German pop about a crocodile called 'Snappy'. Oh how i hope someone will sit next to me and start a conversation about my musical tastes"

Sit down and talk about musical tastes, laugh and mutter under our breath at how much of a twat you are. You say tomato, i say tomato.

Don't get me started on the 'yoofs' who decide playing their crappy bedroom made hip-hop on their phone is cool. Its not. The musics shit. Your shit. The phones shit and hopefully you step in shit.